the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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