Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
this hospital has no fireball
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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