8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
