I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize