Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
