We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
did i walk over a car last night?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
