im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
