It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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