I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
