Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
