Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
