i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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