just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can I color on your dick again?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
