I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Did I show you my penis last night?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
