p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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