YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
operation have a gay friend backfired
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
