Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
