spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
