The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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