return my video game
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my shit smells like andre
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
