Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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