i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She's the barista slut.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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