Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize