I molested 6 butterflies tonight
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
