Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
