this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
