I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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