So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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