just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
