I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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