i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
