mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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