did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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