just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
