peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
