I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
