Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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