garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize