he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You ruined the universe
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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