I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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