Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
