just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
