Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
