Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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