Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think a kid would responsible me up
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
