atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
