she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
