im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
