So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
