shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
