exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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