the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
