You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
