That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize