And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
