Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
