Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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