at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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