quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
