OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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