Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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