All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
