Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
