how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
