just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Your penis caused this!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
