Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
