Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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