we're blogging at a bar
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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