i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
