Im at strip club and am horny
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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