the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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