Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
