So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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