i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We got so high we made milksteak
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
