similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
