Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
