New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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