For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
