You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
