I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize