Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
