just come out here and I will go home with you...
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
