what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
