Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize