did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
