I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
