My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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